[I mention Trump a couple of times in this and I’m sure that some idiot might say “Hey, he’s out of office, why don’t you just forget about him and move on?” like they so graciously did the last two times they didn’t win. Listen, Trump tweeted about Hillary until October 2020 and retweeted a tweet about Hillary on January 3rd, 2021. If he’s going to bitch about Hillary during his entire presidency, I’ll bitch about him until I get bored.]
Conservatives love touting the idea of leftist ideas being “lazy.” Welfare, free healthcare, and free education aren’t rights, they’re things you earn through “hard work.” When the idea of a single mother working multiple jobs (one of which is being a mom) is brought up, that type of hard work is apparently not valid hard work. Someone standing on a corner flying a sign in hopes passers by give them money during a snowstorm or in 90-degree weather isn’t working hard. You know who is? The person standing on the corner flying a sign in a snowstorm or 90-degree weather who gets paid by a furniture store!
Get a job, ya bum! It might be the same job, but at least it’s inexplicably work now that a rich person decides how much you make.
The old “get a job” argument is as lazy as any thought they have when they act as if they hadn’t been decrying the (dropping) unemployment rate between 2009 and 2016. No matter how high the unemployment rate is and no matter how much bitching they do about it, the onus is always on the poor to work harder to get by. Changing policies to enable people to get jobs or get better paying jobs is doing something and requires some thought. So, no. That won’t be happening today (unless it’s for coal miners because solar and nuclear power seem complicated).
The underlying ideology of most right wing politics is “Let’s do nothing about it and see what happens.”
Their manifesto is basically that no policy decisions are affecting people and their ability to work so give the rich more money. Trickle-down economics works. It hasn’t for the past century, but if you give them time the rich will create jobs despite a clear record of corporations laying people off despite record profits and then receiving millions of dollars in bonuses. Here are two more hyperlinks for you.
When it was revealed that Trump hadn’t paid taxes in years, sycophants came forward to wash the boy king’s asshole and say that he was just smart and that it was all legal.
Conservatives didn’t need to change. The poor did. But only the poor liberals. When it comes to poor conservatives, the Mexicans need to change.
And let’s talk real quick about how revelatory the poor conservative position on illegal immigration is. They think that:
- If you work hard enough, you can get anywhere.
- Illegal immigrants, largely, cannot speak English.
- Illegal immigrants are taking jobs that rightfully belong to them.
If you put these three things together, their viewpoint is apparently that they work so hard that they are going up for jobs against people who don’t speak English and are losing.
Not to mention that it’s pretty hard work to sneak into another country through the desert, which is apparently how they think immigrants get here all the time. So, by their own logic, those people earned those jobs because they worked hard. Or is it not the right type of hard work?
[Aside: Let’s mention the fact that even with all the grandstanding about building the wall, the laziness shone through when Trump only ended up getting 80 miles of new wall done along the southern border.
Four percent. What a celebration of mediocrity. I don’t even want the wall and I’m upset about that number.]
The mentality that everyone else needs to change goes hand-in-hand with the motto of “Let’s do nothing about it and see what happens.”
After all, it is about conserving tradition. And how do we do that best? Not changing a damn thing at any time.

Climate Change
Let’s take climate change for example. In 2009, only 35% of republicans believed it was real (I’m sure that number plummeted every time some dipshit picked up a snowball and said “Where’s global warming now?”). At the time, that seemed like a good enough reason to do nothing about it.
Now it appears that many of them have gotten on board with the idea that climate change is real, but now the excuse to do nothing about it is that it’s not caused by people and the climate will do what it does.
These are people who will take the tops off mountains for coal but are like “Nothing we can do about nature.”
Let’s ignore the fact that even if climate change isn’t being caused by humans, we could still make efforts to do something about it. But it’s easier to do nothing, so nothing it is.

Comic by KC Green
Guns
Fun fact: March 2020 was the first March without a school shooting in America in nearly two decades.
Funner fact: Between 2009 and 2018, Canada, France, Germany, Japan, Italy, and the UK had five school shootings. Combined.
No one disputes that there are a lot of gun-related in the United States as compared to a lot of other nations. But there are a few ways of thinking about guns that allow the right to completely ignore it and do nothing. One of them is to just say that gun control won’t work here.
Specifically.
In America.
Why can it work in a wide range of other countries, but not here? Well, because. That’s the end of that sentence.

Photo by Robert Nagy from Pexels
Their infinite patriotism extends only to the point where they have to do something about it. If there’s something to be done about it then suddenly America is a crime-ridden cesspool, every day is a war, and there’s nothing to be done about it except preparing to eat your neighbors.
Everyone, get a gun. But don’t require anyone to take a gun safety course or learn how to aim the fucking thing (that’d be doing something and we don’t want that). Just set them loose and hopefully, maybe, one day, one conservative boy or girl (let’s be real, in their mind it’s a boy because they think women are for baking and babies) can be John McClaine and save people from a mass shooting by braining a terrorist. I mean, assuming they can aim at a moving target from a distance, something no one who buys a gun is required to know how to do. I guess more likely than not they’ll just miss and make things worse, but who cares so long as some conservative child can one day grow up pretending they will save the day.
Even within that idea of being a knight in shining armor shooting the bad guy and saving everyone from a mass shooting, there were only 884 mass shooting deaths in 277 incidents between 2000 and 2018, according to the FBI. That’s 0.2% of all firearm homicides during that period (the number I got for total homicides during that period came from CDC’s WONDER database and it appears that UC Davis link did something similar).
Even more of a way to do nothing – pretend you’d do something in a hypothetical situation you’ll never have to prove yourself in. It’s the entire raison d’être of most pro-gun shirts and bumper stickers.

Photo by Lukas from Pexels
But let’s talk about another staple of right wing politics when it comes to guns: the false flag (they sure love their flags, don’t they). The story goes that those pesky libs are faking mass shootings to make guns look bad. I guess when your entire philosophy is based on fake bullshit, everything begins to look like fake bullshit.
I think I can really just remove the 884 mass shooting deaths and say that the remaining 300,000 gun homicides over the last decade or so still gives guns a bit of a PR problem.
COVID-19
I mean, do I really have to spell out how conservatives really, really, really wanted to do nothing about this problem? Like, literally nothing?
Obviously it was under the guise of “freedom.” And in the hyperlink for “literally nothing,” you’ll see that some fuckwit had a sign about constitutional freedoms. I often wonder which part of the Constitution certain things are violating when the right complains about whatever and I often don’t get an answer. I’m guessing because reading the Constitution in itself is doing something, but also knowing that the Constitution doesn’t say what they think it says and having to adapt to that reality is doing something on hard mode.

Photo by… I don’t know. Someone playing Dark Souls.
The additional laziness of thinking it’s all about themselves is an additional layer of nothing-doing. As the fan who got COVID-19 sometime during WrestleMania week put it: “I am not upset or anything at anybody, I knew the risk going into it.” Oh, he knew the risks and he isn’t mad at anyone? Thank god. Did the person at the gas station know how much of a risk they were taking serving him? How about the people at the restaurants he presumably went to because he doesn’t give a shit? What about the people at the grocery store? Did they all know the risks? Hell, the dude went to five different public events during that week. I assume those weren’t the only things he did and only interactions he had.

Photo by Alex Andrews from Pexels
Sex Ed
Come on. You want less sex education? Even though there’s no possible way it could work?
It’s almost like the right wants every permanent, life altering decision to be made without any information at all.
Guns? Who cares if you can shoot them?
Dicks? Who cares where you shoot them?

Photo by State of Alaska/Reuters
Drugs
A common pro-gun argument is that we should stop gun control because criminals will get guns anyway. This “fuck it, we give up. Just legalize ‘em for everyone” attitude, however, does not extend to drugs. But changing drug laws would be a thing, maybe several. Remember, the goal is to do no things and pretend it’s hard work.
It doesn’t matter that Portugal decriminalized in 2001 and by 2014 drug use was actually lower. The Czech Republic’s stricter laws did nothing? Well, shit, we’ve been putting people in boxes for damn near half a century, let’s keep doing that. We better keep doing nothing and see what happens. Maybe we can put more people in boxes? We tried it before. We try it with lots of things. Have we thought of just telling them not to, like with sex ed? Oh, we did? And it was called DARE? And it was so dogshit at its goal that one paper said it’s effect would have to be “20 times larger to be considered even small”? Coming up with new ideas? That’s doing something, so let’s not.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels
Prisons
American prisons have a 83% recidivism rate within nine years, a 52% recidivism rate within three. Australia has a 39% recidivism rate within ten years. Norway has a 20% recidivism rate within five years.
Since recidivism is the people who return to prison, we can pretend that they’re wrong answers on a test. Norway gets a solid B in the first five years. Australia is at a D within five years. By three years, we’re hovering around 48% on this particular test and after nine? Seventeen percent. Fucking F-, America.
Why? “With an emphasis on punishment rather than rehabilitation, U.S. prisoners are often released with no better skills to cope in society and are offered little support after their release, increasing the chances of re-offending.”
Locking people in a box is close to nothing, especially since we already do that. Helping them stay out of that box seems to be at least one thing, which is obviously one too many.
That was also Trump’s stance on mental health services. Lock them up. Don’t try to help them. Who gives a shit if it’s less effective and usually unnecessary? Just put them in a box. That allows us to do a bit more nothing with our daily lives.

Photo by Cameron Casey from Pixels
Healthcare
Our healthcare system is obviously broken. That’s barely even a question. Insurance companies jacked up prices when Obamacare was distorted to require people to have health insurance but no way to acquire it except to get it from the same companies that put us in the situation to begin with.
So, naturally, the conservative answer is to let the free market do its thing. I guess give the states money in hopes that it will help insurance companies not charge as much? But we did that and it didn’t work.

Photo by whoever got this pic of John Wayne Gacy, noted child protector
Experts
If you need any more proof that doing something is not in the right’s wheelhouse, just look how they treat people who actually do things.
Dr. Fauci? “I’ll get the virus if I want to. Everyone else can stay inside so I can do nothing.”
99% of climate scientists? “I found a snowball. They must all be wrong.”
Sociologists? “I don’t know what all these ‘teen pregnancy’ numbers are about. We said ‘don’t have sex’ and that means they don’t. It’s like murder in that way. We told them don’t do that and no one has ever murdered anyone.”

Image by eroyka from Pixabay
The absolute animosity they have toward anyone who actually sits down and does a thing is palpable any time they ramble about how great it is to molest kids so long as their conception of gender isn’t challenged.
For them, it’s easier to admit you want to see and touch a child’s genitals than it is to even entertain the idea that sex and gender are different words for a reason and that even sex, a word with much more definite meanings than gender, is sort of on a gradient.
But who wants to listen to the experts who did the genetic tests, checked hormones, and compiled data? It’s just something you know without thinking about it. All the data you need is in your heart. “I have a penis and my wife has a vagina. I have checked all of my friends’ genitals and can confirm that all the men have penises and the women have vaginas. I check my children’s genitals daily to make sure that no one has chopped off little Bobby’s penis or taped a carrot to Sally’s vagina. That’s how they do it, right?”
The absolute hate they have for thinking about things before they act is, quite simply, astounding. Truly, conservativism is the Leeroy Jenkins of politics.






























